Computer Chips
by Tannim Murphy
Summary: My first ficspamfic. Influenced by a Ranma uses computer fic.


Computer Chips  
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill. None of the characters used in this spamfic belong to me. I'm just using them. Not for very long, though. Nabiki's rental fees cost too much. Neither am I attempting to use these characters for profit. That's job is for Nabiki-sama. ^__^  
  
Spamfic  
  
---  
  
"Hey, Nabiki, can I borrow your computer?"  
  
"For how long?"  
  
"All I need to do is print out some report. I want it to look extra nice for Ms. Hinako."  
  
"All right sis. I'll let you borrow it at a special family discount price of 2000 yen."  
  
"Deal!"  
  
"Akane, do you need some help starting?"  
  
"No thanks, Nabiki."  
  
"All right." Nabiki replied doubtfully. "Well, I've got to run some errands. I'll be back in a few hours."  
  
Akane happily hummed to herself as she sat down at the keyboard. She had never actually used a computer before, but how hard could it be? It was just a lot of sitting around and hitting buttons. Much simpler than Martial Arts. Heck, even Nabiki could do it!  
  
In front of Akane was a blank screen. Wasn't it supposed to show something? She experimentally moved the mouse. Nothing. She hit a random key. Nothing again. Akane was getting a little bit angry at his pile of junk. What right did it have not to respond to her? Then she spied something on the monitor itself. Some sort of switch? Cautiously, she tried pushing that.  
  
The screen flickered to life.  
  
"All right!" Akane cheered herself on. "I told me this was easy!"  
  
Something was missing. Sure, the monitor was on, but it STILL didn't show anything. Maybe something else needed to be turned on? Akane looked at the computer tower. There were a few buttons, but experimental presses revealed none of them started the computer. What else could it be?  
  
Stupid computer, not working right. It's not my fault, it's whoever made this piece of junk's fault!  
  
Angrily, she yanked on the computer tower and held it up, ready to dash it's innards across the room.  
  
Huh? What's with all these wires hooked to the back of this thing?  
  
Akane turned the computer around. It was a minor miracle none of the wires had been pulled out due to Akane's mishandling. There was a small switch back here, just like on the monitor. Hitting it turned on the computer, much to Akane's enjoyment.  
  
"I figured it out all on my own!" Akane made a muscle gesture. "All right!"  
  
Carefully, she set down the computer in it's original position. Now there were words on the screen. They flashed by Akane's transfixed face. Soon, the computer was ready for input.  
  
"Lets see... I think I have to move this 'mouse' thing." Akane muttered to herself.  
  
Moving the mouse-like object made the little arrow on the screen move as well. She spied a folder marked 'Programs' and moved the mouse over it.  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
Wasn't something supposed to open?  
  
She wiggled the mouse.  
  
You guessed it, nothing.  
  
"Aaarg! Work, stupid mouse!" Akane lightly tapped (for her) the mouse repeatedly.  
  
Eventually, by accident, this led Akane to discover the double-click. The folder opened with its many programs ready for use.  
  
Ah, there was the writing program!  
  
Akane 'double-clicked' that.  
  
"Okay, typing time." She looked down at the keyboard. "Hey, this isn't in the correct order! How am I supposed to find anything?"  
  
Akane, like many beginners, discovered the wonders of 'hunt and peck.' Only a little more forcefully. Instead of lightly tapping, like one is supposed to do, she would viciously slam down the offending key for making her look for it.  
  
This went on for some time.  
  
---  
  
One Hour Later.  
  
Akane wiped some imaginary sweat from her brow.  
  
"Phew! That half page report is finally done!"  
  
Maybe it wasn't so imaginary.  
  
In any case, Akane was very pleased with herself. She had figured out how to use a computer with out anyone else's help! Ranma would be hard pressed to compete with Akane's ego right at this moment.  
  
"All I have to do is print it out and I'm finished!" Akane exclaimed to herself.  
  
She looked down at the computer.  
  
"How do I do that?"  
  
There was a small 'x' in the corner of the screen.  
  
"Maybe that does it?" Akane asked herself.  
  
She 'clicked' on the 'x.'  
  
Her work disappeared.  
  
Akane sat in frozen horror. She had spent an HOUR on that. Where did it go?  
  
A frantic search revealed nothing.  
  
How. Could. This. MACHINE! Do this to her?!  
  
"COMPUTER NO BAKA!"  
  
---  
  
Author's Notes: This fic was partially inspired by whoever did that "Ranma's first time" a while back, exploring what Ranma might do if confronted with a computer. (I forget who it's by, and title. Sorry.)  
  
That and the phrase "Computer no baka" popped into my head, and I HAD to write this. I don't know if anyone else has written about this, but if they have, I haven't seen it.  
  
This is my first fic posted on the FFML (or anywhere else, for that matter) and I don't know if I'm starting on the right foot by it being a spamfic. ^^;  
  
Anyway, send C&C if you feel like it. I need all the help I can get. 


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